It's time for me to say something, however, I'm not entirely sure what to say or how to say it. I don't want it to sound like preaching or a cry for pity or help, and yet, it surely is both of these. But here goes:
I have been devalued. My husband's life has been devalued. My children's lives have been devalued. I've come to believe this because we, by no fault of our own, are part of the 1-3% population. This is the group of people that are expected to die from complications of COVID-19.
My children and I were born with congenital heart defects that have developed into congenital heart disease. Our "disease" will only progress with time and there is no cure. Our daughter is a single ventricle patient, which means only one of the ventricles in her heart functions. She's had several open-heart surgeries and other heart surgeries and procedures in order to stay alive. She also has an advanced liver disease (cirrhosis) and Crohn's disease. She has a progressive arrhythmia and a pacemaker. Despite how sick she is, she manages to put a smile on her face every day. She loves to skateboard and ride horses and cook. She makes me laugh. She's amazingly brave.
My son has had open-heart surgeries as well. He, too, has a progressive arrhythmia and a pacemaker. He is this amazing kid - smart, funny, caring. He's been a varsity golfer and scholar-athlete since freshman year and is now a senior. He just signed to play golf in college.
I have had open-heart surgeries and several heart procedures. My arrhythmia is strong and progressive. I am completely dependent on my pacemaker, which means my heart doesn't beat on its own. Not at all.
My husband suffered a massive heart attack (LAD-Widowmaker) and survived. He only survived because our rescued Siberian Husky saved him. It's a long story. That being said, he has had a procedure on his heart and a device implanted. He's very healthy again, but his heart obviously suffered some damage.
We've spent our entire lives living how the general public is being asked to do now: hand washing, sanitizing, avoiding people who are sick, having supplies in case we can't leave the house. It's nothing new for us. All three of us (my husband is exempt) have compromised immune systems. Our daughter has spent her whole life going in and out of the hospital. We eventually had to start homeschooling her in order to keep her safe and well.
What's my point? My point is this: WE fall into that high-risk category, the group that is most at risk for dying from complications of COVID-19. We are the "yeah but only 1-3% are dying" group. The fact that we are part of THAT population is not as bad as knowing we've been dismissed by other populations. All we see (my kids see this) is people thinking COVID-19 is a not big deal because only (insert my family) will die, not them. There is nothing more disheartening than knowing people have written off the lives of your children or loved ones.
This virus is serious. It's often deadly. Most importantly, it's not the flu and should, therefore, not be compared. I don't understand people's lack of concern or even due diligence in regards to not only their personal wellness but the wellness of others in their lives.
More than narcissism, complacency, and indifference will prove to be our biggest downfall as humans. Every day, I see social media posts from people saying they will not interrupt their lives because they are not at risk. I see people in complete denial of the dangers this virus poses for us as a community, a population. I see parents angry that schools are closed and already exasperated by their children (it's been a couple of days only.) I see people angry that bars are closing, even when we know there is no possible way to practice social distancing in certain situations, especially when alcohol is involved. I see people asking why THEY have to stay home when THEY are not at risk. I see people saying they don't have anyone in their lives who fall into the 1-3% group (even though every single one of us knows someone who is high-risk.) I see people saying they're not "hoarding", but they are stocking up...and then see their posts showing them in a group, out in public, not at all concerned about their actions as long as they are having fun or living an uninterrupted life. Honestly, it astonishes me. But...I'm in a different mindset. I've always had to be. My life gets interrupted when the weather changes or when a medication is one-day late at the pharmacy or when we can't afford to pay the myriad of medical bills that come EVERY single month. I've learned to live with these interruptions and even with medical mandates or doctor's suggestions albeit uncomfortable or difficult. Your new lifestyle will most likely be temporary (maybe longer than expected), however, it is something we will continue to deal with...forever.
My issue is that we've been devalued as humans and deemed not important enough to save. Saving the high-risk population doesn't just mean available hospital care and ventilators, etc. It means coming together as a country. It means following all the suggested guidelines, no matter how strict they may be. It means pausing the life you've become accustomed to. It means staying home even if you are not high-risk. It means not taking part in social activities, be it going to a concert or organizing a playdate between kids "who are not sick."
I will tell you this...I matter. My husband matters. My kids matter. They matter as much as your loved ones do. If you tell me that staying home will help your mother, or grandfather, or child...I know it is my responsibility to stay home. Is it easy? No. Is it necessary? Yes. Are you one of those people who thinks the virus isn't a threat? Do you think it's no worse than the flu? Do you think the government is overreacting? Maybe that's because you don't believe you have any risk factors so there's no way you will die. You probably won't die either. Just so you know, I might die and I do not want to.
I'm going to give it to you straight. If you're not taking this virus seriously, then you suck. You have no idea how scared I am that someone in my family will die. Even worse, what if we all die? While you're angry about your kids being home and driving you crazy, I'm having discussions with my husband about a plan if one of us gets sick, if one of us dies, or if both of us die. I'm making a plan for how to handle if my little girl is hospitalized and I can't visit her. I'm asking her every five seconds how she feels. I'm taking her temperature incessantly.
I don't know what it will take for people to realize how important it is to stop the spread of this virus. I know it's scary. I know people and businesses will suffer financially. Our medical bills will continue to come, virus or not. I know people are freaking out about how they'll "survive" the coming days, especially if stuck at home.
All I can say is I'm begging you to see the high-risk group as people and not numbers. I'm begging you to make good choices and do the right thing. This will help save so many lives, including my family's lives. I'm begging you to understand that just because YOU aren't high-risk doesn't mean you aren't connected to people who are high-risk. I will tell you this: if the world loses my children, you lose, too. Sure they're not your kids, but they are part of your future. Like your kids, they have dreams and goals and make a contribution to the world. I can't stand knowing you look at the statistics on TV and think, "The death rate is only 1-3% so it's not so bad." Every time someone makes this argument, my life is devalued. Every time someone chooses not to believe this virus is a big deal because it only affects older people and those with underlying conditions, my children hear that they're not important or that their lives hold no value.
That is not the case. We are important. We do matter. We have a place in society, just like you.
In closing, I'd like to apologize to you. I'm sorry my situation impacts your life. I'm sorry our precarious health impacts you and your loved ones. I'm sorry you have to sacrifice, maybe not for you, but for the greater good. I know it's inconvenient and annoying and difficult and, for that, I, as part of the high-risk population, want to apologize. I just want to live. I want my husband to live. I want...desperately want my kids to live. And to those of you who are hunkering down, staying in and understanding the bigger picture, I thank you. My whole family thanks you. My daughter, who is terrified she'll die, thanks you.
I hope you choose to stop the spread of COVID-19. I know I'm choosing to do that because I have a deep love of people and believe EVERYONE is important and every life has value.
I have been devalued. My husband's life has been devalued. My children's lives have been devalued. I've come to believe this because we, by no fault of our own, are part of the 1-3% population. This is the group of people that are expected to die from complications of COVID-19.
My children and I were born with congenital heart defects that have developed into congenital heart disease. Our "disease" will only progress with time and there is no cure. Our daughter is a single ventricle patient, which means only one of the ventricles in her heart functions. She's had several open-heart surgeries and other heart surgeries and procedures in order to stay alive. She also has an advanced liver disease (cirrhosis) and Crohn's disease. She has a progressive arrhythmia and a pacemaker. Despite how sick she is, she manages to put a smile on her face every day. She loves to skateboard and ride horses and cook. She makes me laugh. She's amazingly brave.
My son has had open-heart surgeries as well. He, too, has a progressive arrhythmia and a pacemaker. He is this amazing kid - smart, funny, caring. He's been a varsity golfer and scholar-athlete since freshman year and is now a senior. He just signed to play golf in college.
I have had open-heart surgeries and several heart procedures. My arrhythmia is strong and progressive. I am completely dependent on my pacemaker, which means my heart doesn't beat on its own. Not at all.
My husband suffered a massive heart attack (LAD-Widowmaker) and survived. He only survived because our rescued Siberian Husky saved him. It's a long story. That being said, he has had a procedure on his heart and a device implanted. He's very healthy again, but his heart obviously suffered some damage.
We've spent our entire lives living how the general public is being asked to do now: hand washing, sanitizing, avoiding people who are sick, having supplies in case we can't leave the house. It's nothing new for us. All three of us (my husband is exempt) have compromised immune systems. Our daughter has spent her whole life going in and out of the hospital. We eventually had to start homeschooling her in order to keep her safe and well.
What's my point? My point is this: WE fall into that high-risk category, the group that is most at risk for dying from complications of COVID-19. We are the "yeah but only 1-3% are dying" group. The fact that we are part of THAT population is not as bad as knowing we've been dismissed by other populations. All we see (my kids see this) is people thinking COVID-19 is a not big deal because only (insert my family) will die, not them. There is nothing more disheartening than knowing people have written off the lives of your children or loved ones.
This virus is serious. It's often deadly. Most importantly, it's not the flu and should, therefore, not be compared. I don't understand people's lack of concern or even due diligence in regards to not only their personal wellness but the wellness of others in their lives.
More than narcissism, complacency, and indifference will prove to be our biggest downfall as humans. Every day, I see social media posts from people saying they will not interrupt their lives because they are not at risk. I see people in complete denial of the dangers this virus poses for us as a community, a population. I see parents angry that schools are closed and already exasperated by their children (it's been a couple of days only.) I see people angry that bars are closing, even when we know there is no possible way to practice social distancing in certain situations, especially when alcohol is involved. I see people asking why THEY have to stay home when THEY are not at risk. I see people saying they don't have anyone in their lives who fall into the 1-3% group (even though every single one of us knows someone who is high-risk.) I see people saying they're not "hoarding", but they are stocking up...and then see their posts showing them in a group, out in public, not at all concerned about their actions as long as they are having fun or living an uninterrupted life. Honestly, it astonishes me. But...I'm in a different mindset. I've always had to be. My life gets interrupted when the weather changes or when a medication is one-day late at the pharmacy or when we can't afford to pay the myriad of medical bills that come EVERY single month. I've learned to live with these interruptions and even with medical mandates or doctor's suggestions albeit uncomfortable or difficult. Your new lifestyle will most likely be temporary (maybe longer than expected), however, it is something we will continue to deal with...forever.
My issue is that we've been devalued as humans and deemed not important enough to save. Saving the high-risk population doesn't just mean available hospital care and ventilators, etc. It means coming together as a country. It means following all the suggested guidelines, no matter how strict they may be. It means pausing the life you've become accustomed to. It means staying home even if you are not high-risk. It means not taking part in social activities, be it going to a concert or organizing a playdate between kids "who are not sick."
I will tell you this...I matter. My husband matters. My kids matter. They matter as much as your loved ones do. If you tell me that staying home will help your mother, or grandfather, or child...I know it is my responsibility to stay home. Is it easy? No. Is it necessary? Yes. Are you one of those people who thinks the virus isn't a threat? Do you think it's no worse than the flu? Do you think the government is overreacting? Maybe that's because you don't believe you have any risk factors so there's no way you will die. You probably won't die either. Just so you know, I might die and I do not want to.
I'm going to give it to you straight. If you're not taking this virus seriously, then you suck. You have no idea how scared I am that someone in my family will die. Even worse, what if we all die? While you're angry about your kids being home and driving you crazy, I'm having discussions with my husband about a plan if one of us gets sick, if one of us dies, or if both of us die. I'm making a plan for how to handle if my little girl is hospitalized and I can't visit her. I'm asking her every five seconds how she feels. I'm taking her temperature incessantly.
I don't know what it will take for people to realize how important it is to stop the spread of this virus. I know it's scary. I know people and businesses will suffer financially. Our medical bills will continue to come, virus or not. I know people are freaking out about how they'll "survive" the coming days, especially if stuck at home.
All I can say is I'm begging you to see the high-risk group as people and not numbers. I'm begging you to make good choices and do the right thing. This will help save so many lives, including my family's lives. I'm begging you to understand that just because YOU aren't high-risk doesn't mean you aren't connected to people who are high-risk. I will tell you this: if the world loses my children, you lose, too. Sure they're not your kids, but they are part of your future. Like your kids, they have dreams and goals and make a contribution to the world. I can't stand knowing you look at the statistics on TV and think, "The death rate is only 1-3% so it's not so bad." Every time someone makes this argument, my life is devalued. Every time someone chooses not to believe this virus is a big deal because it only affects older people and those with underlying conditions, my children hear that they're not important or that their lives hold no value.
That is not the case. We are important. We do matter. We have a place in society, just like you.
In closing, I'd like to apologize to you. I'm sorry my situation impacts your life. I'm sorry our precarious health impacts you and your loved ones. I'm sorry you have to sacrifice, maybe not for you, but for the greater good. I know it's inconvenient and annoying and difficult and, for that, I, as part of the high-risk population, want to apologize. I just want to live. I want my husband to live. I want...desperately want my kids to live. And to those of you who are hunkering down, staying in and understanding the bigger picture, I thank you. My whole family thanks you. My daughter, who is terrified she'll die, thanks you.
I hope you choose to stop the spread of COVID-19. I know I'm choosing to do that because I have a deep love of people and believe EVERYONE is important and every life has value.
Comments
Post a Comment